- He licks his own balls.
- He licks balls other than his own, including yours.
- He barks like a mad bastard while watching Strictly Come Dancing.
- He watches Strictly Come Dancing (or any other dancing show for that matter).
- He barks like a bitch.
- His fur is feathered.
- He tries to hump a leg belonging to a male.
- When resting on his ass and hind legs, his paws mimic limp wrists.
If your dog exhibits at least 4 of the above tell-tale signs, congratulations – your dog is gay.
(By the way, how to tell if you’re gay? You own a gay dog.)
- Cotton is the Battersea Dogs & Cats Home’s leading veterinarian and dog psychologist.